There are answers that come up immediately: peace, confidence, connection with myself, connection with something bigger than myself. But, I'm not sure that these come up quickly because they are the things I want most. Sure, they are important and I want to cultivate them in my life. However, I wonder what is beneath them. What are the things that are hidden deeper within myself that don't reveal themselves as easily or quickly? I want to be a mom and nurture life and hope in the future. This is one that surprise me a little as it is something that I have not always wanted. I want a deeper and more intimate connection with my husband. I also want to belong to a community. This actually scares me quite a bit. It means being noticed and seen by others. It means being vulnerable, making mistakes, showing my talents, and being accountable. All things that make me anxious. My spirit is also calling me to be more present in each moment. To get out of my head, to live form my heart, to be alive in each moment.
I have only recently begun to discover my spirit and the larger spirit that has begun to call to me. I hope that the spirit can give me courage to take steps into unknown waters and provide faith that I have what is needed and that I am enough. I wish that the spirit will shine a light into the dark places of my soul and call forth the best of me. I hope that the spirit will illuminate beliefs that no longer serve and help me to help places within that have felt broken for many year.