Sunday, October 25, 2009

ThE nExT cHaPtEr

I have been reading the Joy Diet and participating in the Next Chapter with Jamie Ridler. BUT, I have not gotten very far and am hopelessly behind the schedule. In my defense I found out about the project late. That is not really the reason for my lagging behind.

The real reason...doing nothing is really hard for me. Martha Beck makes it clear that until you are doing nothing for 15 minutes everyday, you should not move on to the rest of the diet. Why is nothing so hard? I find lots of excuses, I forget.

My initial idea about why nothing is hard is because I have to sit with myself. I spent my whole life perfecting the ability to avoid myself. To stay out of touch with myself. To stay disconnected. There are many reasons for this that I won't go in to here. However, this push to do nothing is really foreign for me. It is hard to only be with myself, no distractions. My anxiety goes up, my body gets restless, my thoughts spin, the demons come out. I know from reading and talking with people that this is what makes it hard to get started, but getting past the demons is what makes it so great. I have faith that nothing can change me for the better. I have faith that nothing is part of the Joy Diet. Starting is just so hard.

I have done my nothing for today. It was okay. I made it. I tell parents and clients all the time that progress in not linear. And I think that is will be true of my journey with nothing. I think overall it will get easier with time, but I think that the small day to day nothings will not always be easier. This is good practice to take things as they come.

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