Sunday, October 11, 2009

Joining The World of Blogs

My first post. I have been thinking about starting a blog for a while. Not so much for other people, but for myself. A place to record thoughts, feelings, reflections. I am a bit nervous about the public nature of blogs. It feels much more exposed then my trusty leather journal.

So, this is an experiment. I made a decision to try this for 2 months and see what I think. What pushed me over the edge is wanting to participate in "The Next Chapter" with Jamie Ridler. She offers an opportunity to read "The Joy Diet" and connect with others on the same journey. I am starting late, but committed to catching up.

I feel as thought I am always searching and and reaching for ... more. More self improvement. More self acceptance. More grace. More hope. More relationship. More vitality. More life. This is not new for me. What is new is my attempt to find balance. To balance this search for more with acceptance of what is. To accept where I am. To accept who I am. To accept those around me. To accept the present moment. Balance, acceptance, hope, love, and grace are all challenging things for me, but I am trying. What feels more familiar is fear, anxiety, and hiding. I have lived with fear and anxiety for so long, I don't always recognize them as my companions. But in the last year, I have come to see how they damage my potential for happiness, for hope, for love, for connections, and for grace. I have decided to stand up to fear. I have decided to not allow anxiety to be my constant companion. I chose faith. I chose love. I chose hope. I chose grace. I don't always know what that means, but I search the present moment to try and find these qualities that I trust to be more sustaining, more nurturing.

So, today I begin my Joy Diet. Not completely sure how the Next Chapter process works, but here is to figuring out new things, to taking a risk, and to reaching for something higher.

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